Pandemic Annoyances

In my life, there have been times where I have had restrictions. Times where I have not left the house for long periods of time. Times where I have been isolated.

This has given me a slight advantage when dealing with this pandemic. It has meant that my anxiety stayed low, I was not ‘freaking out’ and I was able to take it all in my stride.

However…

Now, I am fed up and annoyed. I can be a little bit of a control freak – this means that I am starting to twitch at the fact that we are potentially once again having choice taken away. I live in a City where the number of cases are currently (apparently) increasing. This means that the City is now on some naughty list to be watched and potentially sent into another lockdown. There has been mention of Marshal presence. There has been a limitation on how many people you can and cannot see and where you can see them. Unless you’re at work or school…

Everyone is saying “Christmas may be cancelled.”

Travel restrictions may be put into place. Again. So now I can be once again separated from my mum until the government says otherwise? Or can I see her because there’s only me, my partner and her? Or can I only travel when it’s essential? What is essential? And who says what is essential travel for me?

Families are only able to come together for Christmas if there are 6 or less people present… Well, what about those of us that don’t have enough family to be able to count past 2? Are we allowed to travel to see our family?

Making people give their details when they go out publicly to socialise so track and trace can be completed… Yes, okay… but why now? Why not enforce that one right from the start?

We also might be given a 10pm curfew – who and how is that about to be enforced? What about people who work the late shift or do nights? Do they need to carry their work rota with them as proof they’ve been to or are going to work? Because anyone can carry a badge – I have a badge. I could carry that with me and claim that I’m doing a late shift… who is to know if I actually am doing a late shift or if I’m off to meet my 20 pals?

Eat out to help out was encouraging everyone to go back out and meet in groups to help put money back into the economy and now that we’ve done that, we’re being told to go stay indoors. We do as we’re told and then get told we’re causing the virus to surge again.

If you socialise in a group of more than 6 people, you’re breaking the law (from 14th September) and will be fined. But not if you’re at work or in education. Can we not catch it at work or school?

The Illusion of More

Wednesday 22nd January 2020

She walks through the door, eyes hopeful as she surveys the room. Her eyes, immediately lose their hope and turn into dark pits of disappointment. The room is cluttered and dirty. She expected more, nothing extraordinary, but more than this. The photographs had made it look as though it was more, an illusion of all the things she wanted. The bed frame, which is the centre piece of the entire room, takes up too much space. The window, however, held up to be exactly as she had wanted and imagined it to be. Not enough to hold her interest, but perfectly right. On on side of the bed, she spots a small desk which is in use by the current tenant, the other side of the bed is the ‘kitchen’. The door to the bottom of the bed leads down to a small bathroom – shower and toilet contained within. The hard stone steps leading down to it is off-putting.

“How much?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll have to check back at the office and then email you.”

Never mind.

Moving on.

A Little Something New

In 2018, I moved to the City. It was an exciting adventure and I made a point of looking at some activities I might be able to do while living here. Things that had often crossed my mind but were unattainable while living in the village I was raised.

Some things were an exciting thought, put off until later because of being in an unknown area and some were done, accomplished with delight.

Pole dancing – a way to keep fit while having fun… Last year, I had not known the area, it was too far away, it was something to keep in mind for a later time.

A LATER TIME

I tried something new, I socialised and became aware of where the location of the pole dancers were. I went, I tried, I left.

6 fundamental pole dancing lessons signed up for – 3 lessons achieved. While the first lesson had been fun, something different. The following 2 lessons were less so. I did not enjoy them as much as my initial lesson, this was not for me.

But I tried.

November was a month of trying.

Unnoticed

The bangs of the cannon can be heard from the walk up
A smell in the air that baffles my brain as it tries to place it
The canal, calm, as people walk and the taxi boat floats by
There is a plane up ahead; I wonder when it will be me up there looking down
Parents and children walk with tired intention
Another milestone achieved, silently unnoticed.
Even by me.

Sunday

It is 8am, I am so tired. The neighbours have kept me awake until the early hours and they pay no consideration to me having made plans.

It is 9am, I need to get ready. The weather here has been cold and dreary and I have no idea what to wear, only that it needs to be smart and presentable.

It is 10am, I am leaving. I really should have brought a scarf for the walk – the wind is biting but within five minutes I arrive.

It is 10:15am and I am seated in the Minster, next to a Nun. There are greetings and conversation, I feel embraced.

It is 11:45am, I am leaving. The beauty of the service I just participated in was so immensely beautiful that I found my emotions were brought straight to the surface. The moment the choir started to sing, I found myself teary eyed.

I needed this.

A small town person in a strange City, being completely embraced by strangers – I have no words other than:

I needed this.

I thank you, every one of you, I thank you.