Stigmata (1999)

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The first time I watched this film was in 2004, I was 13 years old. As a child, horror films never bothered me. I wasn’t often scared or afraid when it came to even the worst of horror films.

I then re-watched Stigmata as an adult and found myself feeling extremely on edge. Unsure and afraid that something like this might be a possibility.

I was a fan of Patricia Arquette before I even knew who she was. This film was my introduction to her and I was immediately taken by her.

As someone who has flittered in and out of religion, I found it fascinating. As an adult, I had access to the internet and found myself using Google to find out if this ‘Stigmata’ was an actual thing that people may have experienced before.

Is it real? Is it psychosis? Is it hoax? It then brought about the questions regarding whether the stigmata should appear on the palms or through the wrists…

I think out of all the scary parts of this film, the part that terrified me the most was the unknown. Putting myself in her shoes and not knowing what is happening to me or how to control or stop it… horrifying.

Today as I watch it, I don’t feel scared. I watch it and I don’t believe it to be the greatest film ever made but it is worth re-watching. The history behind Stigmata still interests me, the history behind religion itself has always interested me.

I believe in what I see, I believe in science. I also believe in God, I have an immense amount of faith.

I am a contradiction.

You’ve Got Mail

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(http://imgur.com/lulhg)

“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void. 

“Do you ever feel you’ve become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora’s box of all the secret, hateful parts – your arrogance, your spite, your condescension – has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and moving on, you zing them.”

“The odd thing about this form of communication is that you’re more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.”

 

That

Sometimes I look at films and think, “that”. That is what I want to capture. A moving image. The opening moment when the shot is out of focus and then slowly you begin to see what it is that is right in front of you.

A solid image that someone has captured, a moment in time – frozen. “Every picture is worth a thousand words.” I want to write those words. To experience the stories and know every detail.

To meet all the people of the world, all the cultures and all the landscapes.