With all the well wishes and all of the “Happy New Year” messages that came flooding in, full of hope for a better year… I made two promises to myself: Drink more water (juice) and find ways to remain calm.
So far, so good. My ‘promises’ are not ones which can be taken away from me due to a national lockdown – which means no excuses.
I am eating fruit more, drinking less caffeinated, carbonated drinks and I have started doing Tai Chi.
Following along to some YouTube videos and feeling a bit of happiness that I am learning something new, in a time where not much of anything in the world is new, is a nice enough feeling.
Another lockdown brings with it more of the same repetitiveness that we have had since March 2020 – almost 1 full year.
But maybe we can create our own positives. Or at least try to. A little bit of Tai Chi every other day and some positive goals that I am determined to achieve is my own little way of trying to do better.
Hopefully the end is near for this Coronavirus pandemic. Hopefully some time spent doing new things (even from the mundane comfort of home) can help this year be a more positive one.
And she looked around, took in a huge breath of clean air and jumped. The mountain was high and her board left a wave of snow behind her. Her mind was silent, her body moving so effortlessly down the slopes… is this what heaven feels like…?
And then she wailed. The birds, who had previously been singing their eve song, closed their beaks. Even they knew this was no longer the time. The air stilled and a respectful, unsure tension overcame the earth. A wail that was so powerful it stilled every nation could surely only come from an unbearable, unspeakable pain.
So, this month – exercise!
I have been walking a little more, done a very occasional jog and even tried my hand at some basketball… After 2 hours of trying to dribble and shoot hoops – we were done! Time flies when you’re having fun but I can assure you, time definitely does not fly the following day when everything hurts and you can barely walk!
I am also trying to raise funds for life-changing research into multiple sclerosis!
February was the month of eating more fruit – it did not go to plan.
I am not a big fruit eater but I do eat a lot of vegetables. So this was a challenge for me, to get it into my routine to buy the fruit regularly enough that it could be eaten daily.
A lot of the time, I forgot to buy it.
Some of the time, I forgot to eat it.
Thus ends, the fruits of February.
January was a month of medications. I decided to stick with vitamins C and D and won spectacularly!
I had days where life took over and a vitamin C was missed – however almost every single day of January saw me taking the time to grab some vitamins. And I felt so much better for it.
On an odd occasion where I felt the sniffles approaching – nothing developed. I feel healthier and I feel as though my immunity is slowly improving.
Off to an amazing start this year – 2020 is the year I start taking notice and positively impacting upon it. This year I shall not ignore anything to do with my health and I shall work to ensure that I make the effort required.
These pills, when first prescribed, terrified me.
I have to take these, it is within my own best interests, for my physical health. The mentality I had when on anti-depressants of ‘it doesn’t matter’ does not work here.
My mentality was forced into, ‘it doesn’t matter how, it just matters that you do’. So, I hid them in food and tried to trick myself into believing I wasn’t taking medication – it was just a chocolate treat.
6 weeks of these pills and I have an empty pill box. I succeeded in something that I have never succeeded in before. I have never finished a course of medication and I have never taken pills regularly enough to get into the habit of it.
Celebrate all the victories, especially the big ones that appear small to others.
Now onto the next 2 boxes.
In 2018, I moved to the City. It was an exciting adventure and I made a point of looking at some activities I might be able to do while living here. Things that had often crossed my mind but were unattainable while living in the village I was raised.
Some things were an exciting thought, put off until later because of being in an unknown area and some were done, accomplished with delight.
Pole dancing – a way to keep fit while having fun… Last year, I had not known the area, it was too far away, it was something to keep in mind for a later time.
A LATER TIME
I tried something new, I socialised and became aware of where the location of the pole dancers were. I went, I tried, I left.
6 fundamental pole dancing lessons signed up for – 3 lessons achieved. While the first lesson had been fun, something different. The following 2 lessons were less so. I did not enjoy them as much as my initial lesson, this was not for me.
But I tried.
November was a month of trying.
‘By the time I’m 30, I’ll be recovered enough to go to New York.’
I lost years of my life to mental illness, with the hope of one day being able to recover – the one consistent thought being ‘by the time I’m 30…’ By the time I’m 30, I’ll have recovered, faced my fear of flying and be taking a trip to New York City.
The trip of a lifetime, that is going to be filled with so many emotions and so much hope.
I have the motivation and determination to fund this trip myself, however, there are many barriers in front of me.
Every little helps.
Money has never been something that came to me, it is not something I have ever had a lot of access to and I have always been against the idea of doing this – but here we are. I am not expectant this will help or happen, however, with my finances as they are, my reliance is on my overdraft.
Desperate times call for desperate measures…