Day 28

And when the rain fell, they looked at each other and they laughed. Running through puddles, pushing and pulling at each other as they ran. Their laughter was loud and happiness radiated from their eyes. To live in the moment was a miraculous thing.

STOP

Stop living in the past.
Stop thinking that my past defines me.

If the last time we held a conversation was no more recent than a year ago, stop assuming you know who I am. I have had experiences that have changed me, so have you. I acknowledge them, why can’t you?

Stop making promises you will not keep.
Stop giving me false hope that you will one day show up.

People make choices and they live with those choices every day.

Good and bad. My past is there, it is a part of me. It created the person I am. I wouldn’t be sitting here as myself if none of those experiences happened.

Stop thinking of now as being the same as then.
Stop thinking of me as I was then.

…But Not Too Much

I decided I need to treat this place as though it is home because that is exactly what it is now. For the last couple of weeks, I have walked around and ventured to different areas without much thought.

At home, I used to go out for a Pepsi, sit and relax and enjoy the calmness.
At home, I used to go out for a Pepsi and sit and people watch.

This is home for me now and I have settled better than I had ever expected myself to – my first time living away from my family home and my family is not as frightening as expected.

I need to treat this place as though it is home… but not too much. Home is where I got sick, where I failed constantly to try and recover and repair myself. Home is a place where I lost too many things, too many people. Home is full of memories that I cannot escape from – people I cannot escape from.

Now it is time to start living like I want to. In the present.

Time to start living how I always have done. With strength.

Time to start moving.

Time to find Costa…

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