Day 10

And then she wailed. The birds, who had previously been singing their eve song, closed their beaks. Even they knew this was no longer the time. The air stilled and a respectful, unsure tension overcame the earth. A wail that was so powerful it stilled every nation could surely only come from an unbearable, unspeakable pain.

Worship

The vicar of ‘my church’ has gone onto Vimeo to provide worship to the community during these times of uncertainty.

This is what I needed. My faith is one that is not often very strong, however, the happy memories I have of church and worship brings a comforting warmth. What else could possibly be more helpful in calming the mind at a time like this…

Stay safe, everyone.

Chloe
xoxo

Today I Was A Soldier

I have returned ‘home’ – to my mother’s house.

To start this time off well, to hit the ground running – I set off to Church this morning.

I thought a calming and comforting environment would be nice, maybe one or two familiar faces that I would not be opposed to seeing.

I found myself surrounded by people who knew me, knew my grandparents and who greeted me with large smiles.

I had not expected to be approached by the vicar and asked to play a role, “would you like to be a soldier?” I had not expected to say yes, to be thankful and grateful for being asked. A reading took place, everyone had a role to play, a few lines to read.

Speaking out loud is not my cup of tea. For a while as a teenager, I was mute. Speaking out loud in public situations is sometimes still difficult. But I did it and I did it loudly.

The morning was spent being much more sociable than I had expected it to be, a whole morning of;

“Hello, Chloe.”
“How are you, Chloe?”
“Nice to see you, Chloe!”
“How are you enjoying University?”

I almost made someone cry. She had not heard I had moved, that I had got into University. Her joy was shown in the many hugs she could not stop giving me, in the misty eyes looking into mine and in her words, “everything comes around eventually, Chloe. Hearing this has just made my day!”

I did not know what I was expecting, but the unexpected was perhaps the best thing that could have happened. I feel as though I have a little more breath in my lungs and as though a part of me has fallen back into place.

I feel so proud for speaking aloud and being able to hold a conversation with people. Something that I would not have managed quite so effortlessly just a few short months ago.

 

 

Sunday

It is 8am, I am so tired. The neighbours have kept me awake until the early hours and they pay no consideration to me having made plans.

It is 9am, I need to get ready. The weather here has been cold and dreary and I have no idea what to wear, only that it needs to be smart and presentable.

It is 10am, I am leaving. I really should have brought a scarf for the walk – the wind is biting but within five minutes I arrive.

It is 10:15am and I am seated in the Minster, next to a Nun. There are greetings and conversation, I feel embraced.

It is 11:45am, I am leaving. The beauty of the service I just participated in was so immensely beautiful that I found my emotions were brought straight to the surface. The moment the choir started to sing, I found myself teary eyed.

I needed this.

A small town person in a strange City, being completely embraced by strangers – I have no words other than:

I needed this.

I thank you, every one of you, I thank you.

Divine Intervention

It was not planned, it was not something I had thought I was going to do today. Sitting by the grave, looking at their names carved into the headstone, I talk…

“I need some sort of divine intervention. I don’t know what to do. Do I move to the City and work to improve my life or just stay where I am and work to improve things here?”

I leave, put in my headphones and catch the end of the song that is playing…

…It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
Bright lights in the big city
Belongs to us tonight
I’ve got the magic in me
Every time I touch that track it turns into gold
Know everybody knows I’ve got the magic in me

The next song plays and I hear these words:

Live life like you’re giving up
‘Cause you act like you are
Go ahead and just live it up
Go on and tear me apart
Hold on

I choose to believe that this was what I had asked for.
I thank you and I love you. 

 

 

( Songwriters: Benjamin Heyward Iii Allen / Anthony Rhichardo Reyes / Thomas Decarlo Callaway Trebles Finals: Bright Lights Bigger City/Magic lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management )

( Songwriters: Amy Wadge / Ed Sheeran Even My Dad Does Sometimes lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC )

 

Inspiration is Everywhere

pink-amas-live-2012-billboard-1548( https://www.billboard.com/articles/events/amas/8039126/pink-amas-performance-2012-try-best-list )

40th+American+Music+Awards+Show+Rr-qwxm2oJWx( http://www.zimbio.com/photos/Pink/40th+American+Music+Awards+Show/Rr-qwxm2oJw )

Swan-Lake-3D-3( http://yewon.myblog.arts.ac.uk/2014/01/27/matthew-bournes-swan-lake/ )

sl1( https://www.broadwayworld.com/article/Bournes-SWAN-LAKE-Returns-to-New-York-NY-City-Center-Oct-13-Nov-17-20100831-page8 )

stillife_1-1500x1000( https://iso.500px.com/tag/still-life/page/2/ )

shutterstock_329614487( http://zenfulspirit.com/2017/05/17/the-science-of-forgiveness/ )

As always – credit where credit is due. None of these images belong to me.
Be respectful of other’s art and reference them.
xoxo.